Something in the Water?

I swear, there must be something in the water that drives Game of Thrones sim owners nuts.

I decided to try my hand again with Reign of Fire: The Conquest.  A friend of mine informed me that the sim was reopening.  I had played there last time, but due to some questionable administration, it quickly imploded after a couple of months.  It was a shame, because it was very nicely built, but sim administration can make or break a sim and it broke that sim.

So they decided to try again, because of some shit that happened over at Realms of Ice and Fire.  Again.  Another set of control freaks, but I digress.  The sim is even more realistic this time, which is nice.   However, this time I didn't even get started before the buffoonery began.  These people want to micromanage the shade of blue of my eyes.

I could accept that the eyes I initially had might have been a bit bright.  There was a glow on them left over from a previous character that I did take off, but that wasn't good enough.  So I went eye shopping to try to conform, but every shade of pale blue was getting rejected.  This is more than frustrating, especially when you have half of the women in the sim dressing like Dornish women, showing a lot of skin!  You're really going to pick on me for my eye color when that is going on?

I can totally accept wanting realism for the eyes, being a stickler for realism myself.  I went to a shop where the eyes are very realistic, although a bit glassy but that's entirely possible.  Every color I asked for that was pale blue was getting shot down.  That's ridiculous.  In fact, someone else applying to play in the sim was shopping there and one of the admins came in to help her with the purchase.  None of the eye colors recommended were light, she was authorizing these dark colors.  Evening or Midnight.  What the hell?  They want us to wear some boring blue eyes.

None of the eyes were glowing, they were clearly human eyes although with a glassy sheen.  They wouldn't budge and it was finally put to me to conform or leave.  Fuck that.  I opted to leave.  Who the hell micromanages eye color anyway?  That's totally ridiculous.  I discontinued my rental, picked my crap up and left.  I didn't bother saying a word, there was nothing left to say.

What's worse is, I had a friend who was going to app in to play as my sister and had recruited someone to play as my father.  Another friend who contacted me later might have been a good fit to play my brother!  So now you've lost not one but three, possibly four people.  It doesn't matter, though, because I'm sure that they don't really care.  And if they are going to roll like that, it will probably be another 3-4 months before it closes, again, just like last time.

It's rather depressing but it seems that I really do have to build the place I want to play in.  I have a concept, and it's getting good feedback. The only problem is getting a reliable core of players to play.  That part is just exhausting and I think it aggravates the mental block that keeps me from building.

Secrets and Lies

Dreya Dalt - no longer at Realms of Ice and Fire

My hiatus from roleplay lasted approximately six months.  That was more than decent, to focus on myself and try to get my head into a better space after the last fiasco.  And then a friend of mine lured me to Realms of Ice and Fire, one of the oldest Game of Thrones sims in Second Life.

I had been mulling over a project with some other friends but real life bit us in the behind and it never came to fruition.  I also started mulling over another side project with another friend, but again, my own rl went a little nuts.  I've just lacked the motivation to build.  I'm not sure what the mental block is.  Probably Blender...

So then my friend came calling and told me about Realms of Ice and Fire.  I'd been there before before the recent reboot of the sim build and story.  I wasn't impressed back then - I didn't like the lore, and the welcome center was just creepy - always full of people who were not friendly and said nothing to you.  Not much has changed, in that regard.  The welcome center is always full of people who really have little business being there, and it still looks like a bot farm, except for those people grabassing and horsing around with each other.  I just wish they would stand more than 2m off the landing spot.  That is such a pain in the ass.  Get out of the way!

Against my usual judgment, this time I went in.  I had the itch to rp again and if I could go with my friend, it would be worth it, because she's a great writer and we had some good times while playing together in Era of Conquest.  I made Dreya Dalt, a bannerwoman to House Martell of Dorne.  I've taken a real shine to Dorne, enjoying the delicate balance of trying not to scare off Northron houses with the passionate zeal for life that the Dornish embody.  She was not the Lady of Lemonwood; her older brother Azeris had the honor of being the Lord of Lemonwood.  There was also another sister, younger - Elaine.  This was a role I had intended for my friend, Elaine.  Dreya was related to House Dayne of Starfall through her mother's side, of House Toland.

While the main area of the sim was being built, they made a tournament area in a skybox, so that people could get their rp fix.  Sadly, there wasn't much actual building going on, at least as the eye could see.  Their builder had been sick and if she was doing much building in the threeish weeks I was playing there, it was all in the Beta Grid and Blender.  Anyhow, there was a tournament there as a basic premise for everyone being in the same space, until they open the ground level for rp.

Dreya went off to the tournament and had a fabulous start, meeting all kinds of people and making some important connections.  Some of them might be unexpected to the point of being controversial - a budding respect and friendship with Arianne Hightower was intriguing.   But her best friends were Penelope Karstark and Ensly Arryn.  The Arryns in particular were a fruitful connection, with the prospect of increased trade with the Vale.  And then there was Willem Tully, affectionately called "Wanderlust," for his worldly ways.  He'd taken a liking to Dreya, and there was some potential there.

Lord Willem Tully, aka "Wanderlust"

But ... there always is a but, isn't there?  But rp was stalling.  The lead for House Martell was having a busy life and wasn't very present.  I had a good rp session with him but I had to schedule it and even then it ended up getting cut a little short.  He's nice, but probably should not be a house lead if he can't be present and active.  A lot of the story in Dorne revolves around the Hand, the Dornish prince's brother.  And yet, there was sensitive info there that Dreya should not have been privy to hearing, and so that cut off a channel of rp for me.  I was getting bored.

I started getting antsy.  One can only go ride horses or chit chat with friends for so long.  I wanted in on the bigger story, and picked a character that was a featured role, one that was sorely needed for the story to move forward.  I took a male alt (since the character is male) and spent days wrapping my head around him because his story really didn't make much sense.  I also spent time coordinating backstories and doing some shopping, to modernize his clothing and his look to the son who had joined the game.

So after all of this preparation and writing I submitted my application, only for it to be summarily denied without any remediation.  What?  I thought they were looking for someone to play this character?  I expected some kind of discussion because I knowingly made one small addition to the lore for a backstory, to fill in a hole.  I also disclosed that the character was Dreya's alt.

Apparently, they had some requirements for this character that they kept secret, and I didn't meet them and they wanted someone who would be an "organic fit."  Now, what kind of  horse shit is that?  I got this bullshit answer over email that basically said, no, but keep playing your original character or try something else.  I was not a born telepath, why the hell would I try that again?

Now, I and my friends have worked up a few theories as to why my app was denied without discussion.

1. They have someone else in mind.  This is always a strong possibility when faced with this kind of opaque, crap answer.
2. They don't like my writing style.  I tend to think that this is the reason.  I am an efficient writer, and while I can do long posts that take 15-20 minutes to type, full of details, I prefer not to do so because I hate spending an hour roleplaying and only getting in one post.  More interactive, please.
3. They know I'm female and they don't like me gender-bending.  This is not something that occurred to me at first but it is always possible. 
4. Maybe it's some combination of the above.  

So in any case, I accepted their crap answer because it was telling in and of itself about the people who run that show, and I decided that they were beneath me, and it was not worth working with them.  I would make one exception, though - Baal, who was kind enough to try to suss out the real reasons why my app was denied.  I didn't want to bother, but he saw that I was upset and at least tried to make me feel better by getting some truth.  You succeeded in small measure, Baal.  But I wasn't going to argue with him over the reasons that he returned with, explaining the denial.  I just wanted to be finished.

The reasons it was denied allegedly were:

• They didn't think I 'got' the character.  

• Actually, what I did was reconcile the ridiculous proposition that this character was even alive when he shouldn't have been.  I took an event that happened in the sim days before my application and wrote in a precedent for it in the character's backstory.  
• A treasonous lord that challenged the king and lived?  How could that happen?  I wrote in something that made sense for that to happen, and it set a precedent for events that had just unfolded in the sim.  But in the few minutes that they took to glaze over my app, they didn't realize that, I suppose.  Even then, it was not something that should have been a reason for an outright rejection, but a point of discussion.  
• The character was supposed to be humiliated; he was.  He was allowed to live, as well as his son, but banished from King's Landing and a crippling fine imposed. Considering that he should have been attainted and killed, and his family's lands stripped and given to someone else, this particular absurdity is not my fault.  Still, he suffered a huge loss with that crippling fine and wheedled his way back into power.

• They wanted a "sim-changing character" who might kick Lord Lannister in the teeth, and someone who would create conflict.  Nothing in the app suggested that I wouldn't, and given the information I would have soon learned IC I would have, but if they wanted me to develop that aspect of the character more, I would have.  But you see, at this point, I know that the problem is that they really don't know me, and didn't care to know me, because all of the characters that that alt has been have been centered around creating conflict.  I didn't really expect them to know that, but the picks from the two previous characters were there to see  and they were both controversial, social-climbing assholes.

• I deviated from the canonized lore.  This is the most minor point and would have been easily remedied by deleting two fucking houses from one sentence or so in the backstory. 

• They wanted a more detailed personality.  If they had asked, they would have received, but the truth is that they really were not interested.

So yeah, I was pissed.  These are not people that you want to work with.  I went in specifically asking about this role and who to talk to, and they pointed me to the OOC lead, who pointed me to the IC lead and the family members, none of whom seem to know what these so-called unlisted requirements are.   Instead they expect people to read their minds and let a key role go unfilled for months.  WTF??

I would have been less angry if they said something like, "we don't really know you and would like to watch how you work a little more before awarding this role."  That would have been less infuriating than NO with no discussion.

The final straw was going after me due to my pick about the family, in that I wanted Elaine to be my sister.  No reserving roles, they said.  They want people to have equal opportunity to get into the House.

You know, that is some seriously laughable horse shit after how they have secret requirements for the featured roles.  The specific char, Elaine, is for Elaine, why would I let anyone else play Elaine?  She just hadn't applied for the role yet.  If they said, hey you can't lock up your family, leave room for others to join, I would have been fine.  The char Elaine was an NPC, and would have remained an NPC until Elaine actually applied, and other people apping for House Dalt would have been written into the story the same way House Dayne exploded with siblings.  Hell, I could put in a secret requirement:  be Elaine!  Nimrods.  That was the last straw and Dreya was voided, as if she didn't exist.  Le sigh.

Anyhow, that's the end of that sad tale.  And now I'm back on hiatus.  The other sims out there, candidly, suck.  Leadership cannot be trusted.  Oh well.

Dreya with the horses.  Too bad it's all gone.

Fashion Plate (Or, What Has Cristalle Been Up To These Last Months)

Roleplaying in SL is fraught with obstacles.  Primarily, the problem is human beings and our failure to communicate.  I don't claim to be perfect in this regard, but I try - and malice is something that I don't really get into.

I like to look at people's hearts and their intent, rather than focusing on their actions and how their actions hurt me.  People who do things thoughtlessly or with innocent intent can be forgiven fairly easily, especially if it's the latter.  But unfortunately, not everyone can do that and some people have to be right and remain a victim rather than choosing to be happy.

So, another rp sim that I was in but didn't blog about closed.  Too bad, because it had a lot of potential, but a lot of human drama closed it.  I am not going to get into any details here, it's not worth writing about - but it's a shame because I had some really meaty stories going on.  As an aside, maybe one day I'll transcribe the logs and bring them here.  The bigger shame, though, was in losing someone I thought was a friend, but I guess we were not truly so in the end.  There was a miscommunication on my part, that I will own up to upon rereading logs - but a strange unwillingness to forgive was the death of the relationship.  That's all I will say about that, publicly.

Myriah Nymeros Martell, one of my favorite characters to play, wearing LOGO Alex.

In the meanwhile, I've taken a break from rp and got back to my roots - building and sailing.  But I have also been on a mad quest to modernize my avatar, getting rid of a lot of old clothing.  Now that there are more clothing choices for the Maitreya body, I've blown a lot of Linden dollars getting mesh clothing (and some appliers, but mostly mesh) that fits my curves.  It's still a challenge sometimes as some designers still design for skinnier bodies and it shows, but some people are bang-on with the design and it just fits, even with my avatar's generous bosom.  I get a serious thrill to find those pieces, because that means that I don't have to compromise my shape in any way to please anyone else's aesthetic of what they think a body ought to look like.  

The New Me: Lelutka Karin with DeetaleZ Ana Lucia head applier.

Granted, my look is still (at least in my opinion) well within the bounds of normal.  There are some people who prefer to make some very extreme shapes and it's still shocking to see it.  Ugly is the new pretty, so they say, but ugly is very subjective.  But it's still their second life, they ought to do whatever pleases them.  Live and let live.  We cannot please all the people all the time, and all that really matters in this medium is ourselves and those closest to us. 

A fun shot with the Eve'Olution head from Eve (Absolut Creations) and Pink Fuel Morgana head applier

I've had some fun, as I have gotten on board with mesh heads.  The technology is still young, and there are changes coming in the near future that will make heads more customizable, hopefully.  It would be lovely to be able to change more than just the general roundness or ovalness of the head and adjust bone structure a bit.  We'll see if that happens.  

My daily driver for "me" is from Lelutka, the Karin head.  But I have Stella as well for rp and several appliers that really make it beautiful.  I just got the new one from Pink Fuel, Vera, that was designed for the Lelutka Simone head but looks fabulous on all of them. I also have LOGO Alex and the Eve'Olution head from Eve (Absolut Creations).  I am not yet ready to expend more cash to get the Catwa head.  It looks good but that magic combination of head and skin hasn't come up yet that makes me say I have to have it.  Still, Catwa is the gold standard when it comes to features.  Maybe someday soon I'll add that to my collection.  It's gotten a lot of traction  among the popular skinmakers, very quickly, and it's a game changer that has made other makers scurry to keep up or open up their systems to third party support. 

Lelutka Stella with Pink Fuel Vera applier, for my next character :)

This pic above is probably going to be the face of my next rp character.  I can't wait for that one.  I am not telling anything about her here, nyah nyah.  :)

I've enjoyed this time off, upgrading my look without any human drama hanging over head.  But I'm itching to get back, a bit.  We'll see what happens.

Boardwalk City

Boardwalk City is an amazing place, crafted by the amazing Uri Jefferson.  Uri was the owner of and builder for Wystenra, the historical sim that I still love and miss.

Inspired by American Horror Story, it is chock full of disturbing imagery.  It is not an rp sim per se, although some people rp there.  There are no rules, no applications.

You arrive on a boardwalk in front of a huge ferris wheel.

There are actual rides and attractions, including a merry-go-round and bumper cars.

There is an authentic urban feel to it, with its seedy underside.

But the crowning feature is the sideshow.

It's a smorgasbord of freakishness, and it's a tough call to say which freak is the freakiest.

Either way, you lose, lol.  But this is an amazing spectacle, and I have to give credit where it is due.  Go visit.

Love, Henry

Love, Henry - a beautiful build by Tahiti Rae that asks the question, "What if Henry VIII never executed Anne Boleyn?"



Sadly, I think his desire for a new wife thoroughly overcame whatever love he had, and he thoroughly hated her by the time he had Anne killed. I took a break from roleplaying for once and went exploring, inspired by a photo I saw on Flickr and took my own set. It's builds like these, so lovingly detailed, that make me feel so inferior and wish that I had the time and talent to create such things.



See my Flickr to see the entire album.

Visit: maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/LEA8/193/142/2501

End of an Era

Era of Conquest closed a couple of weeks ago. Many of the usual reasons: rl, mainly. Stress can be a terrible thing. I wish Sash and Oconnell the best.

The Era of Conquest

So I found a very beautiful Game of Thrones sim called Era of Conquest.  I was very impressed with how it was built and how it was set up.  For the most part, it's done right, although it's not perfect.  I've made some friends there and have had a lot of fun writing myself and my family's history into the lore.

I play Calysta Velaryon, from a banner house to the Targaryens.   I didn't know much about Game of Thrones until I started playing but I am very much into it now, and reading the original books.  It's such a detailed world, although I think GRRM could have spared us a few plotlines and several hundred pages.

It's a relatively new sim, so I'm giving it a shot.  So far I've enjoyed myself but it's got growing pains like Lightbridge did. People are always seeking instant gratification and few people care enough to try to grow the sim.  I try not to think about that too much as it makes me a little angry.

I'll save my rant about roleplay in SL for another day.

Leveling Up

Last week's flop has yielded so much fruit, I declare that I have officially "leveled up" in my sailing.

It's amazing, really.  So much so that I decided to take a chance and abandon the traditional HUD and only run with the infoHUD.  The impetus for using the infoHUD was the hot crashy mess that I was during Monday's Topless Sailing cruise.  I got thrown so many times, my head is still spinning... 

So, yeah, that made me reeeeally wish that I could sail with the stripped down HUD to reduce lag, and ya know what, I did it!  I took the time to fix up some old sailing gestures I had languishing in a folder to fix the winds and boat commands so that they were quick and easy, some of the commands being similar to the commands in BWind based boats like the Loonetta.  I also added a bunch of gestures.  I had to compensate for the loss of a quick click means of hiking, and for certain boats, reefing.  Also for gybing / goosewinging the jib or spinnaker.  There is more, of course, and some of it is boat specific, but I'm not going to bore you!  

I do miss the wind/boat speed/direction meter, though.  If there was a slightly scaled up infoHUD that had that visual info on it it would be wonderful.  But I'll do well even without it, I think I have the hang of it now.  Besides, the luffing feature helps me to know when I'm too far out of trim anyhow.  For the most part, I'm sailing by the senses and not the numbers, and that's an amazing thing.